Waiting to Exhale

I might lose my right ovary soon. And I'm actually happy about it. Let me tell you why...

Prologue

At 26 I was diagnosed with endometriosis. Don't know what that is? Let me enlighten you and bring you into the folds of my reproductive organs. It's a condition where cells/tissue in your body outside of your uterus decides one day that they are inside of your uterus and should act accordingly. Basically, poser tissue. Only thing is that this tissue does exactly what uterine tissue does. Including go through a cycle but, not being inside the uterus means that the tissue and blood from your monthly cycle just chills in your abdominal cavity attaching itself to things and at some point wreaking havoc.

The Treatment

I went through 6 months of hormone therapy. Back then I had my first experiences with advocating for yourself and with "support" groups filled with women that had had negative experiences with treatment or disease. Some of the comments made to me were slightly devastating. At stage 3 (out of 4), I had all but given up the idea that I would have a child. I accepted it and tried my best to move forward.

For years now I kept saying I would write about this subject because I recall rarely reading positive stories on outcomes. But, I don't know if I was ready to reach back to those days.

I have been having pain/discomfort again for a while now. Initially I was told I had fibroids (though at the time I didn't have any symptoms). Then I lost my insurance and all testing/follow ups ceased.

As soon as I was able to head in to my doctor after getting covered, I did. The doctor saw some cysts on my ovary on an ultrasound and we decided to see what a little birth control could do to break those up.

The Talk

During a regular follow up after I fainted and went to the ER a couple of weeks ago, my doc told me that the doctors had seen a mass by my uterus and recommended a CT scan. By this time, I'd been experiencing a good amount of pain though it wasn't until I started tracking my pain about 2 months ago that I noticed maybe I was in a lot more pain than I led myself to believe.

God is so good! Through a series of fortunate events, I was able to get authorization I didn't know I needed for the CT scan in less than 24 hours and had an appointment market urgent  the next day.

That's a double edged sword. Good that I got in, yes. Bad that it was rushed. I tried to stay positive and booked an appointment with my doc the day after CT. That appointment was cancelled the next morning due to my doc having a personal emergency (I didn't see a tan this week so, I guess I'll believe it).

This meant that I had to wait SEVEN DAYS to find out about what was happening.

"Seven whole days, and not a word from you, seven whole night, and I'm just about through. Can't take it, won't take it, can't take it no more..." - Toni Braxton

The constant reminder of the pain did not help. My being tired didn't either. The emotional toll of not knowing what my body was going through meant that I could hardly concentrate and it took everything I had to keep it together.

I was grateful for distractions, people that kept telling me everything was going to be okay, Sorors that sent emails and cards letting me know that they were praying for me.

Have you ever had to wait for a diagnosis? How did you handle that?

(More tomorrow. I had lots to say.)