She Is Ten…

I wake up early these days, in spite of my internal clock's protests. I recently learned a phrase "the teaching hours". And I am usually up during those times, praying, meditating and setting intentions. Today was especially meaningful as I prayed over my child with gratitude in my heart while she slept.

We have the "I love you more" argument all this time. Today, she ended it by telling me that she has loved me since she was in heaven, before I was even born. How do I explain the measure of my love? I cannot. I wrote her a note in her journal, though. My love spans across time and space, through lifetimes and it can never be destroyed.

I have loved Elena since before I knew she was being knitted in my womb. Before I sat in a pitch black sanctuary on a Good Friday and commended her to God even though I had yet to take a pregnancy test. I loved her when I would put a pillow under my dress as a young girl and pretend there was life growing within me. I loved her during the deepest moments of loneliness as she was growing and thriving within me. I loved her even when I myself felt unloved.

There’s nothing like it. I know now that my love paled in comparison to my mother's.

My daughter is imprinted on my soul in a way that I cannot express. Her smile, her weird ways, her giggles, her tears. They are all a part of me.

I'm so proud of her, proud of the human being that she is and the woman that she will be. Her soul is made from the sweetest honey, her spirit a patchwork of those that came before her. Instinctively knowing so much at such an early age.

Last night I wrote in her journal. She is my greatest gift, my biggest treasure. I cannot wait to see what 10 brings but if it is anything like the way things have been so far, I expect this year to be filled with even more adventures.

Recap of the day:

The 10th birthday was lovely. Strolling through Magic Kingdom reminded me of her 2nd birthday when she didn't really want to ride anything, just stroll and people watch.

We held hands and talked about everything and nothing. We finally caught the PhilharMagic. We snacked, we ate. She took videos of herself giving updates of her day and I took some time to show her how to angle the phone for good shots.

She got her donut ears and a balloon (which I have to pay her back for because I didn't have cash and she did).

We made 2 stops at Sorcerer's of the Magic Kingdom but never doubled back to Main Street to keep playing because funnel cake.

We were there around 4 hours when she announced she was ready to go. It felt like the perfect day. She then gave me a gift of her own by saying yes to a question for me to spend a little time with my spiritual family. Of course, she got to hang with friends, eat her favorite treats and play. I’m grateful to her for this gift of time because as my year of white winds down, there are so many firsts and lasts, so many experiences that will never be had again. I’m thankful that as I’ve communicated with her, she is understanding of my heart.

And then? Well, then we stayed up past midnight and finished Wandmaker's Apprentice! I have loved igniting the love of reading in her. Contrary to popular belief, it did not come naturally to her but I think we have finally hit that tipping point.

I’m so grateful for the day. For the year. For my heart being so connected to hers. Happy birthday, Frog Princess.